Today on my Heart and Hustle Live ( on Facebook), I talked about Emerging, Spring, and re-emerging! What are you emerging from? And ready for? Are you meandering, checking things out? Are you spring cleaning? Are you feeling like seasoned roots or newly planted seeds?
It was an inspired conversation and I so love when the audience participates with comments of inspirations and questions. Click here if you haven’t seen today's show.
Yesterday I wrote a new piece of poetry, a life-short as I call my poems. And in the process of writing this one, called Emerging, I looked up one of my last pieces, which I realized I wrote a little over a year ago, also at springtime. Since that time last spring, I’ve only written a few pieces all year. What? Why only a few? It was like the words were used up inside me.
Before that time I was a poetry machine. The words flowed through my body in a waterfall of pictures. I published my poetry book ( Breaking Down the Walls ) back at the first of last year. I came out as a poet the previous year! I wrote often, plus my journaling and blogging.
This is Spring, which I wrote last March, 2018…
Spring …Paulette Rees-Denis 3/6/18
Being born, from the womb of dirt and rock
The freshness in the air, coming alive,
Oh my god, I feel the dew
The juice from the womb
And the bursting open is the rising up,
Taking a stand, as if picketing for the sun
Back not so long ago, the planting seeds of dreams,
Uncovering and being connected to the earth
Digging in the soil to unfurl
Like the fern, unrolling,
like the pod popping open,
the shell cracking from the pecking
The desire for making space and
To take up space
To know the importance of what I want
Only me, mine, special it is
As in the growth that is coming
The expansion of that vision
The role playing uniqueness of one, and then
Oh for so much clarity to come through
The belief in the vision
The pounding of the wanting
You know, when you feel it in your chest
And your heart beating so fast and
You know, finally, that you do know
Wanting that self-sufficiency
To be fed from my own hands
To grow from the garden, within
To the forefront, to be seen and loved and
Ah, so beautiful and delicious
That abundance of living
Water flowing, from a trickle to a waterfall
Producing the drips and the drops and the blast of intention
Then showing up and showing face,
no apologies, with the follow through,
Because I can, still
growing stronger, from being fertile,
feeling the power of the conception
To the inception
weeding out the unwanted
Feeling for the flourishing, the nourishing
The nurturing of the desires
uncovering and being connected
To what is calling me, from me
And then last spring I hurt my back, bad. And the writing stopped. The pain was devastating and scary, and I needed to stop being a machine, or the Eveready bunny ( as some dancers called me). I don’t want to go into the pain stuff, but know that I had to switch gears and slow down into a quieter mode, quit teaching and dancing for 6 months, and take time to just be, to heal, to figure out how to heal, with reflection, but also a lot of just being. Present. And digesting. And investigating. Myself.
Bam… sometimes you just gotta stop or your body will make you. This was not the first time I’ve worn myself down, but this for sure was the most serious, the scariest, and the most painful.
Coming out of that, wow, so glad to have my body back and so happy to get back to working out, dancing, running. Damn, the weakened thighs were frustrating me, but I could do this. I kicked into gear to rebuild softened muscle and stretch out this body… how quickly one can get out of shape, which can also be depressing. But then, you know how it feels to feel better? Kinda like wonder woman? I wanted to jump on the fast train.
Then life, again, my father in law passed away, and my mother fell and went into the hospital at the same time, so across country flights a few times, shifting gears as you do. Add a few other life events. Blah, blah, blah. Life interupptus.
And, boom shaka, there I go down again, this time with a cold, sore throat, no voice thing recurring for 6 months. WTF? Now what? I had things to do, people. I don’t get sick often, but obviously, when I do, it is knock-me-down-and-kick-me until I stop. And I thought I take such great care of myself. And I preach self-care!
Obviously, I still needed to stop and listen, rest, and ask my body, and also my heart and soul what it wanted me to know and do and change. True, this cold thing was going around and I wasn’t the only one who got so sick, but I do believe that I had to shift something in my life. My body was telling me to listen up, chica.
Meanwhile, the words stopped flowing, as I did. I found myself throughout this last year in a sort of low tide kind of time. Still working, still producing, showing up. But not in a robust kind of “Paulette’ way, to not do the work so much, wanting to hibernate more, and wondering where ‘I’ was. Or where did I go? Which leads me on a whole other level of detective work on myself!
I find it intriguing that the words began to show their shapes and faces back to me, as I was called to write this piece the other day. I am feeling into the springtime as I watch my garden explode with the plethora of colorful peonies and roses and intoxicating gladiolas and sweet columbine, while my hummingbird friend sings to me every morning.
Spring is such a time of regeneration, renewal, inspiration, cleansing, re-emerging! And makes for such great metaphors, don't you think?
After not having the inspiration, or the flow to write much past year, until the other day… the feeling, the lightness of the releasing of stuck words, too, was glorious.
Oh, that flow. With a familiar ease. A craving to express but allowing instead of pushing into it. I can tell you how fresh it felt to have even just a few words “emerge”, as things are shifting again for me around my entire life. Change is in the air, and this is a time of renewal and rebirth.
Have you felt like that, when you were creating? Your new business? A painting? Writing? Dancing? Cooking? Anything, but with that flow of recognition, of a feel-good thing you were doing, a right thing. Stepping up into your power and your purpose.
This is what flowed through me yesterday.
Sometimes I wonder where the words went
That at one time were on free flow
Did I use them up?
On the slow ride through spring
Viewing all that I have become
Wandering from chapter to chapter
Inside and out
Cleansing and releasing
Is more about the re-opening
To allow for more of that free flow
The no holds barred feeling
Of moving into the blossoming, the re-emerging
Or the busting out
Rewriting the script
Dismantling the used up bits, the rusty pieces
From the body to the page
With the fresh eyes of the unfurling fern
Slowing allowing the words to rewrite themselves
From down deep
They are still buried under the dirt
Planting new seeds alongside the seasoned roots
I can feel the new story emerging
Thank you for reading my words, for taking that journey with me. For whatever that inspires within you, as you step into your new story.
What's coming up?
**Ready for the freshness of becoming, of re-emerging, of gaining momentum and taking off to full on blossom and beauty? If this is your time to emerge and renew, re-invigorate yourself and shine your light, fly your flags of many colors, then I invite you to join
llumination, the Mastermind.
It’s time to dance with your desires, to step up and elevate all that you are.
Starts May 22nd… a 3-month virtual mastermind with a small circle of creative women who are taking their dreams and desires to the next level!
Mark your calendars! I am delighted to be the featured speaker at Starr Sheppard-Decker Monthly meetup for Coaches and Healers, Tuesday, May 21st 11:30 am at Lucky Labrador on SE Hawthorne in Portland! This is a great community gathering and I will be speaking about Building Business Momentum!
Join me every Tuesday 10 am, PST… for Heart and Hustle Live…(facebook live)
And this week on Heart and Hustle: Visionary Healers, Movers, and Shakers… my interview with guest, love activist and life-after-divorce coach, Anna Demouchet!
Please come over and sign up for my weekly updates, blog posts, poems, and bits of inspiration! www.paulettereesdenis.com